We are blessed to have the Broadway Dinner Theatre in the town where I live that offers a wonderful Children’s Musical in the summer. This is a live production and they serve a delightful children’s buffet before the show featuring kids yummy favorites, like chicken tenders, pizza and mac and cheese, of course. A few years ago I started a tradition with my four local granddaughters I hope they’ll remember forever. I know I will. When they turned four years old I took them on a one-on-one “date” to the musical playing that summer.
I would get the tickets early, so we had front row seats where we could almost touch the wonderful actors and the intriguing orchestra pit was right in front of us. It was a Grandma and me date. They would get all dressed up and be waiting when I arrived with a bouquet of flowers for my special date in hand. When I rang the doorbell, I could hear giggles inside from the sisters who met me at the door. And when I went inside, there she was, looking like an Angel, ready for our date. After the first one, the other girls couldn’t wait for their turn.
After lots of pictures, off we went to the theatre. The first year was Cinderella, second was Sleeping Beauty, then Little Mermaid and last year was Rapunzel. The perfect lineup for the perfect date. Sorry Grandpa.
We made quite an entrance, turning heads with compliments galore, as we processed to our seats. They felt like the most beautiful girl in the house. And they were. The buffet was great fun and stretching a bit they could fill their own plate. But we especially loved the amazing dessert buffet that even had an ice cream bar.
The music played and the curtain wemt up and the shoe began. It is just so fun. The actors who sing and dance are wonderful and cater to the children, coming out into the audience at appropriate times during the show. The kids laughed and smiled and were mesmerized. After the show, which lasts about an hour, they took pictures with the kids and signed autographs in the lobby.
However, our day was far from over. Next, they got to go to Marshalls, which was very easy on Grandmas wallet, push their own cart and pick out six or seven things they want. It’s their day. They are free to choose anything they want. Some of their choices were hilarious. One picked out a backscratcher she thought was the greatest thing she’d ever seen. They picked out shoes, purses, hats and all kinds of trinkets. We tried on hats together, posed in the mirror and had a ball.
One more stop before we were through. Believe it or not, we stopped for ice cream on the way home. You got it. Anywhere they wanted to go. It was their day. I loved that they usually wanted to take home some ice cream for their sisters. Something’s right here!
Then we headed home to their favorite stop, which is showing their sisters everything they bought. And of course, the girls are a great audience and can’t wait to see their haul.
Sadly, they’ve all outgrown the four-year-old tradition, but I’ll always have those precious memories of my dates with my angels. How I wish I could turn back the clock but there are more traditions to be made.
Whether you’re a mom or a grandma who has more than one child or grandchild, spending one on one time with each of them is very important for them and for you. Four of our seven granddaughters live a few blocks from us and we are blessed to spend a lot of time with them, mostly all four at the same time. But we make an effort to do things with each of them individually. This is special for them since they pretty much are always together whatever they do. They even sleep in bunk beds in the same room
Like all families, each one of or our granddaughters has their own personality. And why wouldn’t they, they are all individuals. Not only is it important to recognize each individual personality. but recognizing how to interact with each one is equally important. When my kids were young I recognized that what worked for one didn’t work for the other. That’s why getting to know each one as an individual is a priority.
Every child may be different, but one thing they have in common is their need to feel special. That need is manifested in many ways. You know that kid who has to control the conversation, or the one who quietly sinks into the background in a group? That behavior is their attempt to get the attention they crave. My daughter was the only child for eight years until her first brother was born. She was always very outgoing and independent. When I brought her baby brother home from the hospital, she started exhibiting some unusual behavior, like crawling under my chair on her belly when I was holding the baby. When I started asking her for help like changing her brother’s diaper or getting a bottle, the regressive behavior stopped, and she gleefully became a little mom. She was needed and felt special. She thought that if she acted like a baby, she’d get the same attention.
One of my little granddaughters is just adorable, but she has a temper and spends a lot of angry time pouting and being mean. Talking to her didn’t help, but when her mother spent some individual time with her, she discovered that she was very needy. That’s understandable for the third child born out of four. She has never had mom to herself. The first born has time being the only child until the second sibling comes along. The last child gets the one on one before she starts school and the others are already in school. Middle kids are notorious for craving attention. Stuck in the middle as the song goes.
Spending individual time with your kids or grandkids is so very important, and will reap many benefits for them, for you and your relationship together. We all know that circumstances are different. Work schedules or distance can make it challenging to work in individual time with your grandkids, but it doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Quality is more important than quantity. What matters is doing it. You’ll see a difference in your relationships. The other kids may be a little jealous, but when it’s their turn, they’ll get it.
When my kids were growing up I would occasionally bring something home for one of them that I happened to see and knew they would like. When I gave it to them, in front of the other kids of course, one of the others would say “Hey, why does he get something and I don’t?” to which I would respond. “I like him better than you.” After a thoughtful moment they’d come back with a questionable smile “You’re kidding. Right Mom?”
