By Arvey Krise
Grandmas come in all shapes, sizes and ages. We’re obviously not the twenty-year olds we once were and don’t have the bodies we once had. All the parts are usually all there, somewhere! We all recognize that we’re older because we can’t deny it. There’s a humorous quote we all can relate to by Bernard M. Baruch, an American Financier born in 1870, “To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” Didn’t I say that? How to dress when we reach a certain age is a popular topic on blogs, TV talk shows, magazines and even among friends. You can find an opinion to support yours no matter what it is. I’m not sure who has been crowned the Queen of senior fashion, but one thing is certain, regardless of how old we are, our taste in clothes, good or bad, never changes. Our personalities don’t change. What we like and don’t like is the same. There’s no magic switch, no expiration date and no rule that says we have to stop or start wearing anything. For example, I’ve always been a fun person. I like to dress fun! That didn’t stop when my roots started turning gray, which is why I pay a hair dresser a lot of money to color my roots, only to dye them and turn around and bleach them back out! If I suddenly started wearing “old lady” clothes, people would think it was Halloween. The most important question is, what should we wear when we become a grandma. There’s only one audience with an opinion that matters to me, because it’s really important to never embarrass them and always make them proud. So I went to the authorities to find out what they thought. Our grandkids. I asked kids I didn’t know, kids of friends and then of course mine. Funny and firm without hesitation, the answers may surprise you.
THROUGH THE EYES OF OUR GRANDKIDS:
Julia 7 y/o: Grandmas should wear dresses every day. Grandmas are supposed to look pretty. Not look old.
Gracie 12 y/o (Oldest granddaughter): No baggy jeans! Not too tight but not baggie. They should wear the latest styles. Definitely wear skirts (short tropical I wear a lot), not long but about 3-4 inches about the knee.
Charlotte 7 y/o: NO cut off blue jean shorts. Jeans that are in style, like the ones with holes and not baggie. Fun skirts above the knee. No bikinis. No old lady stuff.
Emmersyn 9 y/o: Grandmas should wear dresses and pearls. They should be pretty. Not every day. They can wear jeans and pants and tops too. Lots of grandmas work out now so work out clothes like gym shorts and tennis shoes are good.
Ansley 11 y/o: Fun skirts, T-shirts, flip flops, wedge sandals, fun hair stuff like headbands and stuff that’s “out there different than other grandmas…grandmas are gonna be stylin!”
Britton Drew 9 y/o: Different stuff from other grandmas. Stand out, fun stuff, no bikinis, no old stuff and definitely not look like other grandmas.
Max 9 y/o: Grandmas should wear Old-Fashioned dresses like in the olden days and things like that. Well maybe Old-Fashioned isn’t the right word. (This after his mom showed him some pictures from long ago. Funny how different the perception of long ago is). Big floppy dress hats with flowers are good.
Eli 7 y/o: Grandmas should wear dresses and no bikinis.
I found it interesting that so many of the Grandkids I talked to said dresses, skirts, pearls and not old. “Not old” was a common thread. Grandmas have come a long way and grandkids see us differently than they used to. With so many women still having careers and active hobbies as they get older, the perception of grandma has changed dramatically. Flowery cotton robes with the buttons down the front from Mayberry are quickly fading away.
When choosing what to wear, the guidelines are simple.
Determine who you are dressing for. Who’s your audience. I’m the first one to put on a sexy little dress with high heels when on a hot date with my husband. I’m old. I’m not dead! Even my grandkids like to see me on a date with grandpa.
Dress for the role in life you want to have. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Just because you’re a grandma doesn’t mean you have to throw away your fun clothes you’ve always worn and don a housedress. If you’re a fun spirited person don’t try to change. A cute evening dress that shows a little cleavage worn well is totally acceptable. Regardless of your style or occasion, have class. There’s a saying that you can buy taste, but you can’t buy class.
Grandmas are more involved in the lives of their grandkids than they used to be. We spend more time together and grandkids see us in a lot of different lifestyle situations than they did before, like Emme saying that a lot of grandmas work out now. I was pleasantly surprised to see how open-minded and forward thinking they are about what grandmas should wear, especially that they want us to be hip & in style. I don’t think that’s a ticket to show up at their neighborhood pool in a string bikini!
Most importantly, never wear things that would embarrass your grandkids. They will never forget it. How do you know what that would be? Just ask them. Ask what they think Grandmas should wear. You may be surprised. If we want them to respect us, we have to respect their feelings as well. They are paying attention. You don’t have to dress like a nun. Grandkids want us to be young and fun. They made it clear that they do not want us to look old. Maybe there’s a message there. It was fun to see how the kids I asked loved sharing their answers. It made them feel important to have a voice.
I have fond memories of my wonderful grandmas. Funny, that both of them were wearing a dress every time I saw them, just like the grandkids I talked to see grandmas now. They understand that times have changed and have expanded the list to include things like jeans and work-out clothes in keeping with the more active lifestyle of Grandmas today.
Memories of your grandma stay with you forever. What memories will your grandkids have? One thing I learned by going straight to the source, they want their Grandmas to be pretty.
